This time coming

hooooooooooooooooooooooooley shit. FUCKING SHIPWRECK. i never ever thought i would ever see these cunts, been one of my favourite bands for like 3 years or some shit...

im afraid.

AND DEN the next fucking morning i am flying to hong kong to be a big time playaaaaa and buy some sweet adidas jumpsuits and adidas shell-toes for cheap... maybe some gold watches (not authentic)...

WHO WANTS TO PLAY SOME C-LO?!?! IM BRINGING A WHOLE SOCK FULL OF MONEYS TO SHIPWRECK

dewd

im tired of people talking of raging, and them being ragers... sediment that gathers during the working week, the hate is still there but the numbness keeps the water still... until the weekend, this music stirs up the monster inside, clouding everything.

i never thought of hurting others, i only want to destroy myself. but im definately not sorry hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhaa...

the only thing raging about them is their bon0rs for other dudes. or their bon0rs for other girls..

make sense? no?

good.

it was going so well..

was a fairly good weekend, up until after the show. where i was convinced to go to a 21st of a old school friend of mine... where it just reminded me of how alienated i am from the average person the same age of me. trust, goals, happiness comes so easily to these people... yelling conversations over loud foo fighters, dancing with each other, generally having fun. while i was sitting in the corner trying not to gain attention from them, hoping beyond hope they would not come talk to me, that they would not come and see the desperation for release on my face...

of course then came on the long drive home the wonder "whats wrong with me?" emerged. along with the necessary self loathing and disgust and panic.

it seems ive made my bed, and i really cannot wait to sleep in it. i want to sleep. im giving in but never giving up.